The Unpopular Blogger – Season Predictions

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I have decided to give my predictions – which are usually 100% correct – for the 2014/15 Premier League season. I suggest you pay attention, as this sort of football expertise isn’t widely available on the internet. You might even learn something. There’s a first time for everything…

Firstly, I’d like to get the relegation candidates out of the way. It’ll probably be three teams that are a bit rough and can’t afford many foreign players. They’ll probably be from the North, too. That’s that done then.

Now for the big one – my top five teams. As much as I’d like to see Arsenal win the league, I’m afraid that isn’t looking likely at this stage. I think you’ll agree when you read my explanations. Anyway, here’s my top five:

Premier League Champions – Liverpool

I think the majority of fans will agree with this prediction. Liverpool were absolutely outstanding last season. Brendan Rodgers has assembled a side with the perfect balance. He boasts a team that uses teamwork to overcome obstacles rather than one star player. This summer, he’s added a few Southampton players – I don’t know their names, I never play as Southampton in FIFA – and has signed Mario Balotelli, who singlehandedly won Manchester City the league a few seasons ago.

I am so confident that Liverpool will finish first that I guarantee I will donate £1 to charity if they finish any lower. You can’t say fairer than that.

2nd place – Manchester United  

Three words – that ugly guy. Louis van Gaal will no doubt guide United to a strong league finish, although I don’t think they have enough to win it.

I guess you could say Louis van Gaal is definitely not one of the gals! And by that I mean he is one of the lads. And by that I mean he will do well because he is a real lad, not a ‘gal’ (girl). I’m not trying to suggest men are better at football, they’re just smarter, and therefore make better managers.

Anyway, United are second. Moving on…

3rd place – Chelsea

Not only has the Special One bought Cesc Fabregas – the best midfielder in the world – but he has also captured the experienced Diego Costa. I’m not sure how long he has player for, but he looks at least 40, and you need that kind of experience in the Premier League. They’ll get into the top four with no problems at all.

4th place – Manchester City

The departure of Scott Sinclair will definitely cause The Citizens a few problems this season, but I still think they’ll be able to finish in the top four. They’ll probably have to wait until next season to mount a serious title challenge.

5th place – Arsenal   

Although it hurts to admit it, I just can’t see Arsenal finishing in the top four this season. Wenger has wasted a lot of money on two flops in consecutive seasons now – Özil and Sánchez – and has failed to sign a world-class striker and holding midfielder.

I think my prediction might be slightly biased here, as I have said Arsenal will finish higher than Spurs, which is really just wishful thinking. It’ll be a very tough season for The Gunners, and I am extremely worried about what the end result will be. Even the footballing genius, Micheal Owen, doesn’t think we’ll get in the top four. That says it all.

My full set of league predictions are as follows:

1 – Liverpool

2 – Manchester United

3 – Chelsea

4 – Manchester City

5 – Arsenal

6 – Tottenham Hotspur

7 – Everton

8-17 – Northern Teams

18-20 – Teams from rough areas

I assume you will all largely agree with my predictions. As I’ve said, I am usually very accurate when it comes to these things, so if you want to make a big money bet based on what I’ve said – go ahead. The working class love that sort of thing, don’t they?

If you have enjoyed this article and want to pass on some kind words, contact @UnpopularBloggr on twitter or comment below. I won’t have time to read them, but if it keeps you happy…