Saturday, June 15, 2024

Fresh Arsenal Article Creator – Make Your Own Article In Minutes!

What is Fresh Arsenal’s biggest flaw? Is it the abundance of unqualified writers; the frequent speeling mistakes; the annoying advertisements that tell you how to get a six pack in a week? No. Fresh Arsenal’s biggest flaw is its lack of user interaction.

When was the last time you got to write an article for the site? The answer is simple – you never have. It’s time to change that.

After hours of copying and pasting the Fresh Arsenal Writer’s Guide, I’ve put together an interactive (sort of) article that lets you create your own blogs and news stories!

It is easy to use too! The base of the article is set in stone, but wherever you see a [choice 1/choice 2/choice 3], pick the option you want included in your article and discard the rest. When you see a [write about something we’re describing in this box], you can get ultra-creative and use your own words to finish the sentence.

The time for reading is now over – the time for creating has begun! Make your own articles using the template below, and once you’re done, be sure to share your finished articles with the rest of the world (don’t send them to us, we really don’t want to hear from you).


Template 1 – Transfer Rumour Article

Arsenal are closing in on [the signing of/a loan move for] [chose a player’s name at random from this list: ].

The [nationality of player/x-year-old] is reportedly unhappy at his current club due to [a lack of playing time/falling out with his manager/biting a player] and wants a transfer this summer.

The [keeper/defender/midfielder/striker] is rumoured to prefer a move to Arsenal over rivals Liverpool because [insert a racist joke about Scousers stealing things].

The deal should be completed sometime next [week/month] and is expected to cost the club somewhere in the region of [just chose any value – everyone guesses anyway].


Template 2 – Transfer Confirmation Article 

Fresh Arsenal can exclusively reveal that [just copy and paste the story from and then change a few words].


Template 3 – Opinion Article

In my opinion, [insert a viewpoint that is clearly wrong, but will generate hits from people wanting to complain about it].

The reason no one agrees with me is because [the media has brainwashed them/I have a greater understanding of football/I play football for a Sunday League team, hence I know best].


Template 4 – Arsene Wenger’s (Fake) Weekly Newsletter

Bonjour, Arsenal fans!

[For me/I believe that] this week has gone well. I am still scouting players to sign for the club, and I believe I have found some individuals with fantastic [technical ability/mental strength/physical attributes].

It is also important to note that [insert joke about Abou Diaby being like a new signing] and [insert joke about Arsenal’s squad being strong enough as it is].

I ended this week by [insert link to comedic vine that has mild links to Arsenal].


Template 5 – Scout Report

[Honestly, just make it up. No one will know].

Leave your finished articles in the comments if you want. I won’t read them, though.

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